I planned three different weddings during COVID, and every time we tried to make a “normal” plan work, I felt the same thing creeping in: wedding FOMO (FEAR OF MISSING OUT) — not because I wanted a big wedding, but because I felt responsible for making sure everyone else had a perfect experience. I didn’t want to have elopement regrets, but a traditional wedding wasn’t going to feel like us either. In this post, you’ll learn more about why planning weddings and then pivoting to an elopement was the best choice we could make.
Elopement Regrets: the part nobody warns you about.
Sometimes the spiral isn’t “I’ll miss the dance floor.”
It’s: “If I don’t create the perfect wedding for everyone I love, I’ll regret it forever.”
Matt and I started dating the day Vermont shut down in 2020. So by the time we were planning a wedding, COVID wasn’t just an inconvenience — it was a magnifying glass. It made it painfully clear how exhausting it would be to get family and friends to travel to Vermont during that time… and how much stress I was carrying trying to manage people’s expectations.
Some family members weren’t taking COVID seriously. Political and moral differences were also part of what made a traditional wedding feel heavy and complicated. And at some point, I realized: I don’t want to spend my wedding day managing pressure and performing “perfect” for other people.
So we made the simplest decision that still felt huge:
We just wanted to be married.
Our Stowe elopement day was slow, intentional, and completely ours
We eloped in November 2021 in Stowe, Vermont, and the whole day felt gentle on purpose.
I booked a hair appointment with my regular stylist in Stowe and had my makeup done — and it ended up being one of my favorite parts. I knew the salon, I knew the stylists, and it felt like having girlfriends around that morning. I even wore a cute lounge set while I got ready, which made the whole thing feel like a fun little ritual instead of another task on a never-ending checklist.
After that, Matt and I had lunch at home with our dogs and got dressed together. I will never forget how he looked at me. Like… the kind of look that makes your whole nervous system exhale.
We exchanged vows on the Stowe Rec Path, because it was ours. It’s where we walked our dogs and took in the mountains. We met our officiant and photographer, read personal vows, and included a little twist of traditional ceremony exchanges — just enough structure to feel grounded, but still intimate.
Then we took portraits, popped champagne, and did something that mattered deeply to me: we took a carriage ride (in the rain). We have horses, and it felt important to give a nod to equines on the day we got married.
After that? We grabbed dinner at our favorite Chinese restaurant in our hometown and went home to our dogs.
It was a chill day. No rushing. No managing guests. No fielding questions. No drama.
Just love.
Why The rain, the mud, and the “romantic movie” moment didn’t ruin our Elopement day (zero regrets on moving our elopement to a different day)
It poured during our elopement day. It was freezing. Our wedding clothes got soaked and muddy.
And honestly? It didn’t matter.
The photos were beautiful and the day felt like a romantic movie — like we could stick out anything together and still make it sweet. (More like “lemons into margaritas” energy.)
That day shaped one of my biggest beliefs as an elopement photographer:
Perfect isn’t the goal. Meaning is.
My biggest regrets during our elopement (and why it changed how I guide couples now)
Even though I loved our day, I still have two regrets — and they directly influence how I plan elopements with my couples now:
1) We didn’t plan anything “epic.”
Not because epic equals better… but because we didn’t realize what was possible. We didn’t know how to build a day with multiple experiences and environments — something that felt both intimate and adventurous.
2) We only hired our photographer for two hours.
At the time, I wasn’t a photographer yet — I didn’t understand how much story you lose when you only capture the middle of the day.
I wish we’d had:
- getting ready photos at home with our dogs
- more time to let the day unfold without rushing
- more variety in locations and light
- a fuller story that matched what the day felt like
And I wish someone had helped us build a timeline that created more creative freedom — more breathing room, more moments, more “this feels like a film” variety.
We didn’t know what to ask for back then.
Now I do.
What my wedding FOMO actually taught me
My biggest FOMO wasn’t really about missing out on a wedding.
It was the pressure I put on myself to create a “perfect experience” for everyone who would be invited — and the way that pressure pushed me into buying and planning things that weren’t even meaningful to us.
So if you’re in the FOMO spiral right now, here are two tips I wish someone had handed me sooner:
Elopement planning Tip #1: Get off Pinterest after a certain point
Pinterest is amazing for dreaming… and absolutely chaotic for decision-making.
At some point it stops being inspiration and turns into comparison, second guessing, and “maybe I should change everything.” Save a few things you truly love, choose your direction, and then close the app.
Elopement planning Tip #2: Stop treating “the perfect dress” like a make-or-break moment
I fell hard into Say Yes to the Dress energy and convinced myself: if I didn’t have the perfect dress, the day would fall apart.
I bought five wedding dresses because I couldn’t let myself just choose the one that made me feel comfortable and amazing. Not to mention, I bought dresses that were more aligned with what others may have thought a plus sized body should wear. Ewww.
Here’s the truth: your dress is not the thing holding the day together.
Choose something you can move in, breathe in, and feel like yourself in.
And a boundary I will scream from the rooftops:
Don’t go dress shopping with family/friends who make you self-criticize or shrink.
If someone decreases your self-worth in a fitting room, they don’t get access to that moment. Period.
How my own regrets and FOMO made me a better elopement photographer
This is where my personal experience becomes part of the service I give my couples.
I used to see elopements framed like “just a courthouse thing.”
Now I treat them like what they are:
A once-in-a-lifetime experience — not a shortcut.
Couples need a combination of love, excitement, adventure, importance, affirming energy, old-friend comfort, and direction that helps the day actually flow.
So here’s what I do differently now:
- I build timelines that feel human (with decompression time built in on purpose)
- I do the location + pacing prep so your day doesn’t feel chaotic or rushed
- I create space for you to connect with loved ones without turning the day into a performance
- I plan “no-camera” pockets (coffee, sweet treat, quiet moments) so you can fully be in it
- I offer ways to share the hype (FaceTimes, vow recordings, slideshows) so you still feel witnessed if that matters to you
Because you deserve an elopement that feels intentional — not like you “skipped” something.
If you’re feeling Wedding FOMO right now, ask yourself this
- What moment do I think I’m “missing,” specifically? (Not a wedding. A moment.)
- Do I want that moment because I love it — or because I’m afraid of disappointing someone?
- How can we build a version of that moment that feels like us?
That’s the magic: you’re not missing out — you’re choosing with intention.
Ready to start planning?
Start with my elopement blogs — it’ll help you get grounded, inspired, and out of the comparison spiral.
And when you’re ready to see what working together looks like, head to my Pricing Page next.
Ready to start planning your own elopement? Check out my pinterest page for inspiration here
If you already know you want support, you can reach out through my Contact Page — I’m happy to help you map out what’s possible.
(And if you’re dreaming of the coast, cliffs, and all-day story-driven coverage, my Acadia Landing Page is a great place to start too.)
