If you’re wondering how to plan an intentional elopement that actually feels like you, it might help to start with what not to do. When my husband Matt and I eloped in Stowe, Vermont, we created a day that was cozy, romantic, and very “us”—but there are still a few things I’d do differently now.
Those regrets turned into a blueprint for how to plan an intentional elopement for my couples today: one that’s grounded in what you two care about, not what everyone else thinks you should do.
In this post, I’m walking you through our real elopement day, what I wish I’d known, and the practical steps you can take when you’re figuring out how to plan an intentional elopement of your own.
Why Planning an Intentional Elopement Can Feel Heavy at First
Before I ever Googled how to plan an intentional elopement, I had a lot of baggage around the word elope.
Matt and I started dating the day Vermont shut down for COVID. Instead of meeting at a closed brewery, we hung out at his apartment, played board games, and spent that first year quarantining together—falling in love, hiking with our dogs all over Vermont, and talking about the future.
By August 2020, we decided to get married and dove into traditional wedding planning. If you were also planning in 2020… iykyk.
We planned three different weddings and canceled them all because of COVID concerns.
There were endless calls and emails, reschedules, checks flying out the door, and panic-buying five dresses because “it all had to be perfect.” The stress got so bad I literally started losing my hair.
So the idea of eloping stepped in like, “Hey, what if we didn’t do this to ourselves?”
The Family Baggage I Brought Into Elopement Planning
The problem? Eloping was not a neutral word for me.
Growing up, my dad had several marriages where he’d just run off and get married on a cruise ship without telling anyone. I remember family members scoffing, saying they were hurt they couldn’t be there or making judgy comments about how they didn’t approve.
So I quietly filed elopements under:
- “Secretive”
- “Low commitment”
- “Kind of selfish”
- “Something you do instead of a real wedding”
Fun fact: my family was… not exactly the healthiest dynamic. Letting them be in charge of the energy of my wedding day probably would’ve been a disaster. But at the time, I didn’t have the language or distance to see that.
Regret #1: Letting other people’s opinions define what eloping meant to me.
One of the most important pieces of how to plan an intentional elopement is this:
You get to redefine what eloping looks like for you—not your parents, not your grandparents, not the group chat.
Our Stowe, Vermont Elopement Story
Fast forward to November 12, 2021.
We decided to elope in Stowe, Vermont, where our relationship really started. We’re homebodies who love small-town charm and mountains, so an off-season Stowe elopement felt like the right fit.
Earlier that year we bought our first home and poured a ton of money into furnishing it. Our dream Iceland elopement got bumped to “someday” (I’m a New England elopement photographer, but my heart also lives in Iceland), so we told ourselves we’d do a five-year vow renewal there instead.
Regret #2: Not doing the homework on elopement costs.
Looking back, with more planning and clarity around priorities, we might have been able to stretch for that original Iceland idea—or at least given ourselves more options.
If you’re trying to figure out how to plan an intentional elopement, here’s your sign to actually sit down with:
- Your budget
- Your top 3 non-negotiables
- A realistic idea of travel and vendor costs
This doesn’t mean you have to choose the most expensive option; it just means your decisions come from intention, not panic.
(If you’re in the research phase, this is where guides like an Acadia or Iceland elopement blog are clutch. Think of resources like my planning content and destination pages on your favorite elopement photographer’s site as a mini crash course.)
What Our Elopement Day Actually Looked Like
Slow Morning at Home
8:00 AM
We woke up at home, made coffee, and had a slow morning with the dogs. We packed our elopement bag with:
- Clear umbrellas
- Two bottles of champagne to pop
- Our vow books
- Our marriage license
- A steamer and lint roller for our outfits
It was quiet, intentional, and very “us.”
This is one of my favorite examples of how to plan an intentional elopement: start the day the way you actually like to move through the world. If you’re not morning people, maybe your “slow start” is a late breakfast and a midday ceremony. There are no rules.
Hair, Hype Squad, and Playing Small
10:00 AM
I headed to my usual stylist for hair, wearing bridal PJs and slippers. She’d been doing my hair for about a year, so it felt like catching up with a friend. During the appointment, I FaceTimed my two best friends—having a hype squad mattered to me.
But here’s the honest part: I wanted full-on Hollywood waves and a specific Anthropologie dress. I wanted the complete bridal moment.
Instead, I told myself, “You’re eloping, you should keep it casual,” and I didn’t really advocate for what I wanted.
Regret #3: Acting like my elopement deserved less effort because it wasn’t a big wedding.
If you take nothing else from this blog about how to plan an intentional elopement, let it be this:
Eloping does not mean your day is less important.
You’re allowed to go all in on your look, your flowers, your details—whatever makes you feel like the main character.
For the record, I still felt beautiful. I wore hot pink Doc Martens and carried the dreamiest bouquet from a local Vermont florist. Those little personal touches made everything feel like me.
Lunch, Getting Ready Together, and Grounding the Nerves
2:00 PM
We ate lunch together at our kitchen table, slipping the dogs snacks under the table and talking about house projects and future dreams. No big production, just us.
Then we helped each other get dressed. I will never forget the way Matt looked at me in my dress. He’s not very chatty, but his smile says everything.
This part of our day is a perfect example of intentional elopement planning:
- We didn’t force a “first look” moment that didn’t feel natural to us
- We kept the vibe low-pressure and grounded
- We chose connection over performance
Driving to Stowe in the Rain
3:00 PM
We drove to the Stowe Rec Path in full-on pouring rain. To keep spirits up, we hit the Dunkin’ drive-through for caffeine.
Weather is one of the biggest things couples worry about when they’re learning how to plan an intentional elopement. Here’s the truth from both bride-me and photographer-me:
- Rain, fog, and snow can make your photos more cinematic
- Muddy trails and imperfect conditions often create the most real, memorable moments
- Once you accept that weather is part of the story, the whole day feels lighter
Bring layers, don’t baby your shoes, and let the day be what it is. If you’re eloping outdoors in places like Vermont, Acadia, or Iceland, embracing the elements is part of the magic. Resources like Vermont’s official travel site are great for understanding seasons, crowds, and conditions when you’re picking a date.
Our Stowe Ceremony
4:00 PM
We got married under a gazebo along the Stowe Rec Path. We hired an officiant who took time to get to know us and wrote a ceremony that felt personal and heartfelt.
We read our own vows, shared what we loved about the life we’d already built, and talked about our hopes for the future.
Zero regrets. If you’re wondering how to plan an intentional elopement ceremony, here’s the formula I recommend to my couples now:
- A location that feels meaningful, not just trendy
- An officiant who cares about your story
- Vows that sound like you (even if you keep them private)
A Horse-Drawn Carriage Ride and a Missed Opportunity
5:00 PM
We booked a last-minute horse-drawn carriage ride in Stowe. It was cozy, quiet, and a dream come true for horse-obsessed me. We got to slow down, breathe, and really soak in the “we just got married” feeling.
No regrets here either.
Where the regret comes in?
We didn’t plan anything else for afterward.
We could have:
- Driven up toward Mount Mansfield for mountaintop portraits
- Stopped at a local restaurant for drinks and photos at the bar
- Changed into comfy clothes and done a cooking class or in-town adventure
Instead, we sort of ran out of ideas.
Regret #4: Not planning a full elopement experience, just a ceremony with extras.
One of the biggest shifts in how to plan an intentional elopement is realizing: this can be an entire experience, not just a 30-minute ceremony.
That’s why, as a photographer, I now build full-day or multi-part timelines with my couples—from sunrise coffee runs to stargazing, not just “show up, say vows, take a few photos.”
If you want ideas, check out the kind of all-day timelines I build for couples on my elopement photography home base.
Ending the Night Our Way
After Stowe, we went to our favorite Chinese restaurant for dinner, still in our wedding clothes. We absolutely felt like small-town celebrities.
Then we headed home, changed into PJs, curled up with our dogs, and watched Harry Potter.
That part? Perfect. Zero notes. 10/10.
5 Practical Tips on How to Plan an Intentional Elopement
So what does all of this mean for you and your elopement?
Here are five big takeaways I now use when I help couples decide how to plan an intentional elopement day:
1. Start With Your Values, Not Other People’s Expectations
Before you pick a location, date, or dress, ask:
- How do we actually like to spend time together?
- Do we want a quiet, cozy day or an adventure-heavy one?
- Who, if anyone, do we want there?
Your answers become the backbone of how to plan an intentional elopement that feels honest—not something you built to appease other people.
2. Get Honest About Budget and Possibilities
Don’t just assume something is “too expensive” or “too complicated.” Research:
- Travel costs
- Lodging (Airbnbs, cabins, boutique hotels)
- Permits or park fees (especially for national parks—NPS is a great starting point)
- Key vendors (photographer, officiant, florist, hair + makeup)
When you know your real numbers, you can make intentional choices around what to simplify and what to splurge on.
3. Treat Your Elopement Like a Big Deal—Because It Is
This is not a “lesser” version of a wedding.
- Wear the dress or suit you’re obsessed with
- Book the glam team if you want one
- Order the flowers that make your heart do cartwheels
A huge part of how to plan an intentional elopement is giving yourself permission to show up fully, not shrinking your vision because there isn’t a 150-person guest list.
4. Plan a Full-Day (or Multi-Day) Experience
Instead of “ceremony + portraits,” think:
- Morning ritual (coffee, journaling, hot tub, sunrise hike)
- Getting-ready time you actually enjoy
- Ceremony in a meaningful location
- A post-ceremony activity (hike, boat ride, carriage ride, brewery stop, picnic, beach walk)
- A dinner or celebration that feels like you (restaurant, private chef, takeout in a cabin)
- An evening moment (bonfire, stargazing, night portraits, soaking in a hot tub)
When I work with couples as their New England elopement photographer, this is the fun part we build together—turning “a few hours” into a full story.
5. Choose a Photographer Who Helps You Plan, Not Just Pose
Your photographer should be more than a person who shows up with a camera.
Look for someone who:
- Knows the area you want to elope in
- Has ideas for backup locations and weather plans
- Helps you with permits, timing, and location scouting
- Is excited to hear your story and build a day around you
That support is a huge part of how to plan an intentional elopement without burning out or second-guessing every choice.
Ready to Plan an Intentional Elopement in New England (or Beyond)?
If you’re dreaming up a day in places like Stowe, Acadia, the Berkshires, or a quiet corner of New England, you don’t have to figure out how to plan an intentional elopement alone.
I’m here as your photographer, built-in planner, and #1 hype queen—helping you:
- Turn your “what if” ideas into a real elopement timeline
- Choose locations and activities that feel like you
- Build a day that’s stress-light, experience-heavy, and deeply personal
When you’re ready, reach out through my site as your first step in how to plan an intentional elopement that you’ll still be obsessed with years from now.
Need to see some photos for inspiration? Check out my vermont photo gallery here
Ready to check out pricing and package details? View Here
Want to get married in Stowe Vermont? Connect today for an intro call
